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Okay so, a few of you might know what's going on right now. I was homeless for quite a few months. I don't feel like getting into that whole story just yet, but I really do need to lay this one out for sure. Sometimes I just feel like a complete failure and sometimes writing things out make me clear my head and help me gain back some sense of pride and comfort. Lately things have been kind of complicating. Financially, job wise, and depending on the day it's mentally. But anyways, I had in epiphany today. It wasn't one of those great, majestic epiphanies. I guess it was just an eye opener. I wont go into too much detail on as to what was said to me today, but alas it made me think of myself as a failure.

I have been promoting and booking bands since the age of fifteen (turning twenty this September.) I can remember as if it was yesterday... I was doing shows, going to many shows, meeting people, networking, and having the time of my life. Since the past year and a half or so, I haven't been having that kind of feeling. I put my promoting life on hiatus a bit without even knowing so. I guess I just had that continuous feeling of failure, so that lead me to not even trying. I feel so embarrassed at the fact that I didn't take my own advice. Sometimes it's just hard to process some of that information in your head and realize that you yourself are correct. I want to be the best, I want to make a difference in the music scene. The only way I know I can do that is if I don't stop trying. I'm going to fight for what I want and get it eventually...I just have to...my goals are all I have to call as my own.

I recently decided that it's about goddamn time that I do something about it. I cant promise a show right now, but more a likely something in regards to management, clothing line, and finally getting interviews and my book started. I will be starting a savings account just for those things, just to get things started. I'll be doing that sometime next week after all of this Wells Fargo and Wachovia bs is over haha. Yeah...I just need to get things back in order. Tonight was a night that most definitely helped me open myself back up into the scene that I know I belong in.

Just gotta keep my head up in the game and move along...

-Jacky